Secret Agent Training

Ah yes, its that time of year again....Secret Agent Training, or as we call it, What would you do. Once again it's off to the training facility beneath Mount St. Helens. Nutzoff and I have been teamed with the Germans for the participation portion of the training. The following situations were presented to us. With are solutions.
Scenario 1: A British tourist comes up and ask if you'd like a fag. What is the proper response.
As the ambulance pulled away I informed the Germans that shooting him was not what we would do. I then informed the captain the proper procedure would have been to politely explain that Nutzoff and I are deeply involved and then thank him for his interest. It was at this point the captain asked me if I had any asprin and told the trainer to move on to the next scenario, leaving me wondering what the hell just happened.......More scenarios to come.....

10 Questions Most asked by Agents

As a secret agent I find that whenever I change partners I seem to hear the same questions over and over, so I made a list of the 10 most questions i'm asked, I present this to you, the reader.

10. Did you hear that?
09. Who are those guys?
08. When did we get to Istanbul?
07. Holy crap, where did that come from?
06. Should we stop that from bleeding?
05. Is that nerve gas?
04. Where's the snake bite kit?
03. Where's the Bazooka?
02. Did you know spiders could do that?
01. I've been injected with what!?