Isralies Don't share Food

The other day I was roaming around headquarters heading to the vending machine for a sandwich. Upon getting there I noticed that once again it had been booby trapped. The boys at the office always think its funny to wire the food buttons to the taser system. All I have to say to that is, nobody but nobody fools Josh Stone 5 times in a row, but I digress. Having become apparent there would be no vending machine purchase, I proceeded to scrounge around the SABR (secret agent break room). The problem with SABR'S is nothing is ever as it appears. Fridges are actually safes, coffee makers are fax machines, Cookies are really hockey pucks, you get the picture. Anyway, no food, thats when i stumbled into the SAL (secret agent library). I was going to get the manual on how to disable the booby trapped vending machine when i noticed a button behind the Tropic of Cancer book. I pressed the button (just a note, you should never go around just pressing miscellaneous buttons you find in a secret agent office, but I'm a professional) and low and behold the entire bookcase swung open and guess what I found inside. That's right, SNOW MONKEYS, just kidding, I found a refrigerator with a large Roast Beef sandwich in it. Having already concluded that fate wanted me to have this sandwich I ate it and proceeded on with my day. That's when it happened. Agent Abram Epstein in voice very much like syid from the tv show Lost asked me, "Stone, have you seen my sandwich?" As the blood drained from my face for some reason all I could think to say was, "it wasn't roast beef was it?". To which he replied, "yes it was and it was mine. Did you take it?" As I was running for the door screaming, "It's just a sandwich, It's just a sandwich!" Agent Epstein, who was not very amused, was yelling he never should have saved me from those canables the Amazon Jungle. He was also hell bent on exacting some kind of revenge on me for eating his sandwich. I managed to get out the door and headed down the hall, as I was running by the break room, I couldn't help but notice that my partner Nutzoff was rolling around on the floor convulsing in front of the vending machine. I thought to myself, "good job boys, stupid nutzoff." It was at this moment that I noticed I was no longer moving foward and felt the iron grip of a less than well meaning Epstein on my neck. As I began to lose conscieness the last thing I remember was Epstein screaming "Isralies don't share food. Isralies don't share food!!" I awoke 2 days later with those words still ringing in my ears....good times....good times.

BlackSheep Brother

Secret Agents like everyone else have crazy family. The Stone family is no different. It has recently come to our attention that my brother Mark has used his years of Secret Agent Training for something shall we say....less than making the world a better place to live............