Assigned New Partner

Well it has happened. Due to the Snow Monkey incident at the stake out, I have been assigned a new partner. Internal review determined that no one was at fault but decided A switch was necessary......So welcome aboard........Dumazz Nutzoff from the Moscow division. We should have many interesting adventures ahead of us..... Stone Out........

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE FROM THE D.O.S.A.A.S.

As of 2-18-09, Coconut wielding monkey alert has been elevated to def con 2 and will continue to be so until further noticed.
All agents across the globe are immediately urged to suspend unnecessary vacation time and report to the HQ nearest your position.
There has been an increase in Monkey related incidents over the past several weeks culminating in an all out brutal attack in Connecticut. Though there has been no concrete evidence to suggest the monkeys are on the attack, intel has crossed our desk possibly linking the attack in Connecticut with a rogue band of Monkey chunkers lead by an increasingly hostile cell of Snow Monkeys.
All agents should be on the look out for any suspecious gatherings of monkeys or gorrilas and report the activity immediatly. There is also evidence to suggest that orangutans could be involved as well.........

What Really Happened to the Dinosaurs

While banging around in the basement of HQ I came across a folder that was listed as eye's only. Being a good secret agent I thought to myself, I have eyes and proceeded to read it. Inside was a folder titled what really happened to the dinosaurs. The common belief is Dinosaurs went extinct when a huge meteor hit the planet...WRONG! The true story it seems is much more complicated, dinosaurs were rendered extinct by a rogue band coconut wielding monkeys. That's right you heard it hear first, no meteor, just coconut wielding monkeys. I know what your thinking but the answer is no. Not snow monkeys. An even meaner prehistoric kind of monkey. similar to the great Ape. They became tired of being eaten and according to the file figured out a way to band together and monkey chunk coconuts the size of small boulders. Over time they became so proficient at boulder toss that they ended up wiping out all the dinosaurs. The reason this has been kept from the public and the elaborate meteor story was used, is because the possibility exists this could happen again and the threat of public hysteria was to great to take a chance on...sooooo meteor.
Now you know the truth. More stories from the basement to come......