FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE FROM THE D.O.S.A.A.S.
As of 2-18-09, Coconut wielding monkey alert has been elevated to def con 2 and will continue to be so until further noticed.
All agents across the globe are immediately urged to suspend unnecessary vacation time and report to the HQ nearest your position.
There has been an increase in Monkey related incidents over the past several weeks culminating in an all out brutal attack in Connecticut. Though there has been no concrete evidence to suggest the monkeys are on the attack, intel has crossed our desk possibly linking the attack in Connecticut with a rogue band of Monkey chunkers lead by an increasingly hostile cell of Snow Monkeys.
All agents should be on the look out for any suspecious gatherings of monkeys or gorrilas and report the activity immediatly. There is also evidence to suggest that orangutans could be involved as well.........
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Yes this hits us all close, especially so close to the 5 year anniversary of our dearly loved Dallas gorilla Jabari's death. Believe me if I had any vacation time, I would suspend all use of it!!
ReplyDelete