Snow Monkey Attack

One night while staking out a very well known x-baseball player, my partner and I were awakened by a scratching sound on the car door. We were in the middle of a field out on a ranch several hundred yards from a barn and another several hundred yards from the actual house. My partner opened up the door to have a look when all of a sudden....Bam! Cream pie right in the face. He fell to the ground yelling, Snow Monkey Attack!! There are 3 things secret agents hate in this world.
1. Having your picture on the net with the caption secret outed agent
2. Being assigned the Mohave desert watch and
3. Snow Monkey Attack.
How the Snow Monkeys found us I'll never know but when I jumped from the car to come to my partners aid there were 3 more waiting for me. I never knew what hit me. One threw a net over my head, one got behind my legs and the other one pushed me over the top of him. Down I went. They disarmed us and jumped into the car, one punched in the Alice cooper Welcome to my nightmare CD while the others turned on the lights and siren. They drove off into the night shooting pistols into the air and blasting Devils Food, laughing maniacly. We found the car the next day covered in lone star beer cans and banana peels. They left a trail a mile long littered with chimps gone wild magazines and empty cat nip boxes. The car had 4 flat tires, no gas, and a dead battery...........I hate Snow Monkeys!

Josh Stone Secret Agent

At the urging of my peers I have started the JSSA blog. To be a secret agent and have a blog is quite an under taking, it would be like a Batman having an everything must go sale in the batcave...it just shoudn't happen. Anyway here we go. As a secret agent I monitor certain entertainment shows on television. Tonight I was watching the show 24 (it's kind of secret agentee) Jack bauer and Tony have kidnapped a high profile guy and this FBI agent is casing the place trying to talk to headquarters and give them some info. FBI boss tells her to get out of there to which she replies....just one more minute i'm going to try to get the plate so we can track it...........Now of course she gets caught.....Here's my problem.....The get away vehichle was a Huge...I mean HUGE, YELLOW,SWAT VAN with 2 ORANGE lights on top....I don't think I would have been worried about the plate.....I would have said....Hey they are in a Ginormouse Yellow Bus with Orange lights on top and oh yeah it has a license plate on it somewhere....Just follow the Huge yellow bus........... As a secret agent I have been in my share of high profile kidnappings, I have never used a huge yellow bus. I once had to kidnapp Ronald McDonald and Bozo the clown and used only a mini cooper and a wagon. The King payed very well......